I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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