he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
