You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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