Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
