I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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