it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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