i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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