I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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