Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
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