wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize