I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I cannot find my penis.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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