if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
