So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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