he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
