Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
