no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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