I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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