So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
