you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
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Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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