Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
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