WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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