i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
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Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
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I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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