it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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