omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
