when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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