You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
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you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
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He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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