they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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