Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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