carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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