Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
