I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I made him laugh his dick is mine
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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