your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
not ubering you a puppy
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
