His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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