Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
a search helicopter?!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
