Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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