She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
my sisters under your porch take her home
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize