I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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