My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
