Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She said her name was "party"
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
