So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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