would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Rumble strips road head = magical
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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