i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
