you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
