sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
