If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
