we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
