You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
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i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
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So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize