You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
