im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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