Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize