like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
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Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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