i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
