I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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