How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
