All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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