thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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