worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You have to summon your inner elephant
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
