do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
