awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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