there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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