Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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