I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just pee around me
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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