what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
