and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
