I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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