Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
