so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
