Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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