so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
where are my eyebrows?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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