He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
