I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
two words: eviction party
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
