I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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