So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
